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Three Years Have Taught Me...

“You can always give without loving, but you can never love without giving.”- Amy Carmichael

Three Years ago I married my best friend. We were both still in college, did not have secured jobs, fairly young (20 years old), and did not know what to expect. We took a risk, and I am so glad we did. 

I love getting to do life with Marissa every single day. She brings out the best in me (and some days the worst in me :D), and gives me grace when I need it most. Three years of marriage have taught me more about myself than I ever could have imagined, and for that I am grateful.

Three years of marriage have taught me I am not a patient person. I am consistently losing my temper and getting worked up about petty things. One day it could be because we ran out of water bottles, the next day it could be because Marissa forgot to do one of the tasks for the day (I laugh about this now, but it does happen often :D)

Three years of marriage have taught me I often place too high of expectations on myself and on Marissa. I am wired as a go getter. While this is often beneficial, I struggle to remember that others are not always wanting to go go go all the time... and that is okay. 

Three years of marriage have taught me I have trust issues. After losing my dad, I realized I refuse to share with Marissa my heart because I do not want to lose someone again. My mindset is: "if I don't get attached to her by sharing my feelings, it won't hurt as badly to lose her."

Three years of marriage have taught me I am insecure. I struggle to see the good in me. I struggle to understand why Marissa, or others, love me. I thrive on encouragement, and sometimes I don't feel like I am good enough for anyone.

However, three years of marriage have also taught me there is someone who loves me throughout all of my flaws. Through my lack of patience, through my insecurities, through my OCD's, through my trust issues, through my quirks and my fears, marriage has taught me I am loved and desired. Marissa shows me every day what it looks like to be loved by God. While she is also not perfect (trust me on this one... looks can be deceiving :D), she is my fierce encourager that loves me just as Christ does. 

I love you Marissa, I cannot wait to see  what God has in store for us this year. 

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