Updated: Jun 19, 2020
I felt betrayed. I spent hours and hours pouring my life into the hearts of the community... and this was my payment?
How could God let His Church act this way towards others?
What did I ever do to deserve this abuse?
Why was the place I was supposed to feel safe, now the place I felt scared?
Where is the beauty in this, God?
I am not a stranger to pain. My life is consumed by loss, heartbreak, bad decisions, mistakes, insecurities, betrayal, and everything in between. I have chosen to do things I regret, and regret not doing things I should've done. I have run from God and have felt abandoned by God. I have lied and hid from the truth.
I have experienced all of these things... and I believe my story is not over.
Some of you are also not strangers to pain. Some of you are also consumed by loss, heartbreak, mistakes, betrayal, brokenness, and have been damaged by those that claim the name of Christ. Some of you are also wondering: where is the beauty in this, God?
If that is you, you are not alone... and your story is also not over.
I have found reconciliation in the middle of my pain. I have found joy throughout the struggle. I truly believe my pain does not go unnoticed and be used for His Kingdom.
I am damaged, but God declares I am a deadly weapon for His kingdom (see Romans 8:31).
I am a warrior.
I am a fighter.
I am unstoppable.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
But most importantly, I am His Child; and nothing will ever change that.
Bring it on satan, bring it on.