I hate myself.
I was standing in the shower as hot water covered my insecure body. At this point, I couldn't tell if my body was covered in sweat or water. But just as dogs escape to their kennel when seeking rest and safety, I found myself in the shower as my insecurities poured over me.
You're not good enough.
God doesn't love you.
Who are you without your dad's previous influence?
You'll never preach as well as they do.
How can you love God and still be depressed?
How can you preach the Good News and still battle anxiety?
My confidence goes down as my water bill goes up.
Mark Twain put into words so perfectly the damage that comparison can do: "Comparison is the death of joy."
Comparing myself to others can only do harm. God spent genuine time creating me. God crafted me the exact way He wanted me to be. While there are things I can change and work on in an effort to chase after what God has in store for me, I should never waste time comparing myself to others. Even though my mind is telling me I am not good enough, my heart believes otherwise. This is why Paul challenges the church in Galatia to seek approval from one place:
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. - Galatians 1:10
Truth is, you may never be good enough according to worldly standards. You may be:
And the list goes on and on and on...
It's a good thing we don't need the world's approval in order to obtain God's love.
This is one of those blogs where I am preaching to the choir. I'd like to say I have it figured out. I'd like to say that the intro story was a long time ago. It wasn't.
I'd like to say that I am perfectly content with who God created me to be. I'm not
But I'm working on it. I'm trying to remind myself that God made me this way for a reason. I can do things others can't and vice versa. I will never truly love God until I love myself. After all, we were created in His image for a reason (see Genesis 1:27).
So today, I invite you to join me in rejoicing rather than dwelling on who we are.
While we may not be perfect, God has designed us perfectly (see Psalm 139:14).
You are more than enough for God's love.
Let me know how I can pray for you today.